Ministry, Investments, & Beliefs
It was time to move forward. It was time to get back on track. This was the job…so we believed.
Sometimes our hearts get ahead of us. Sometimes our beliefs uphold our deception.
We all make unavoidable investments—spiritual, emotional, and economic. We make choices to invest in persons, places, and ideas—and their associated virtue. Some investments are visible. Others are hidden (to ourselves and others). Regardless of the investment it is impossible to eliminate risks. In the arena of moral discernment, trouble arises when we allow unspoken investments to court our beliefs about people and systems without our permission.
Think of two territories separated by a large, foreboding river. The first territory represents the stable ground of objectivity. The second represents misguided beliefs about people or systems, however exotic and promising. The river between the two territories represents the “current” of the unknown that exists to remind us of peril—our universal need for discernment. What would motivate a person, then, to cross the proverbial river? And how would they cross it without perishing? When objectivity and desired beliefs are separated by such a river, and when we see no way to reconcile the discernment gap, the ‘bridge’ of our unwitting investments is obliged to lead us “safely” to the other side. The tragedy is what we leave behind.
Now observe this common exchange between two people, one invested (I) in an abusive system and the other harmed (H) by it:
I: I’m really grateful for this organization. We love the philosophy of ministry and we know some great people throughout the system.
H: There are great people, true, but I experienced profound harm in this system.
I: My experience tells me this system is good.
H: Do you have room for my experience of harm?
I: Define “harm”…
H: I worked under an abusive leader in this system for years who has wounded many people and remains in power. Bullying behind the scenes, arrogance, narcissism.
I: I assume the board addressed this?
H: They addressed it by minimizing the harm, defending the leader, and moving on as quickly as possible.
I: These situations are very messy. It’s unfortunate that people get hurt and relationships aren’t restored sometimes. The board has a very difficult job in these circumstances.
H: It’s unfortunate the leader has never been held accountable—devastating in fact for me and my family. Is it possible that you may be misconstruing the dynamics in your mind?
I: I’m just saying I believe the system is healthy overall and God continues to do great things through his people there, despite the reality that breakdowns do happen. There has to be grace, right?
H: Hm, a “breakdown” is a nice way to put a bow on my experience. And since when is grace incompatible with accountability?
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How would you describe what happened in this conversation? Perhaps you’ve found yourself on one side of the exchange or both (I have!) and understand the stakes.
If I am emotionally invested in a better future to alleviate the tension of present circumstances, I may be inclined to believe in the rightness of a new opportunity (and institution) regardless of what is true.
If my position in ministry is a significant source of income for my family, I am economically invested to believe that staying is good (and so is the environment) regardless of what is true.
If I am spiritually compelled by a vision for ministry ‘handed down’ by God to a church, and relationally rooted in a community of people I love, I am invested to believe in the integrity of the leadership regardless of what is true.
“The Lord detests dishonest scales. ”
It is quite common to get lost in the fog of our investments—and even to enjoy them for a while. I hold no desire to cripple anyone with suspicion about present or future investments, nor bury us in shame about past decisions. Rather, my hope is that the people of God would learn wisdom, honor complexity, and—for the sake of justice and truth—give pause before we offer sweeping endorsements that may soothe our own conscience but replay the nightmares of someone else’s experience. We would do well to tread slowly enough in our assessments to consider the prerogative(s) of power.
It’s better to be late to support a system’s integrity than early to promote its deceit. We cannot right the scales of justice until we are honest about the imbalance of our investments.
What inclines you to assign virtue to a person or system wishfully?
What am I invested to believe?
Morning River Fog by Francis Sullivan